“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
- Matt 5:28
Attempting to connect the dots to all the shackles that cause dysfunction, perhaps one that has been the downfall of many relationships is lust. We all have the spirit of lust lurking deep within. It is deeply rooted in the human species. I don’t care who you are, how upright you walk, how holy you are. The spirit of lust lies within. We have all looked upon another person with lust in our heart. If you did not you wouldn’t be human. We are created with a sinful nature, thus lust will always exist and be lurking in the shadows.
From a biblical perspective, lust is an inordinate craving for, or the indulgence of the carnal pleasure of the flesh. Healthy God-centered relationships are built on love not lust. The relationship you have is it love or is it lust? That is the question! People say it was love at first sight! Sorry to disappoint you, no, it was lust at first sight. No one falls in love at the first sight. We have all met someone and are instantly attracted to that person. It could be from across a crowded room or at the train station or an airport terminal. Is it lust or is it love? Lust is a powerful thing and love is a beautiful thing. When you sense that you may be attracted to someone at first sight, the experiences should not be confused with love. We are visual people and what we see first signals a sexual attraction. As humans we get a strange feeling in the pit of our stomach when we meet someone who we have a strong attraction too. The chemistry or attraction can grow into love, but it takes time and patience. It involves truly getting to know the person, their mind, their character, their heart and their values etc. When you only base a relationship on the physical attributes of another person or on the immediate chemistry you may share, you really don't see them for who they truly are.
There is much more to a person than what your physical eye sees. Attraction is a feeling that usually starts fast and fades with time. It is important to use your mind to be in control. That is why renewing the mind is so important to the believer. Getting in touch with your emotions is paramount because we learn to distinguish between love and lust. It is easy to get really caught up in the chemistry, the physical over the emotional. You know you are in lust when you experience lustful feelings, especially instant desire. People mistake feelings of lust for love. This is where things get a little blurry and the water gets a little murky. There is a distinct difference between the two. Love does spark emotions and feelings, but lust sparks sexual desires and infatuations. Lust is like a soda that fizzles when you shake it. Relationships also fizzle out because the lust is gone. Love lasts whereas lust fades. Avoid the appearance of lust.
Many have become entangled with the wrong person for the wrong reasons because people have mistaken love for lust. The bible clearly admonishes us to not be entangled, “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage”, Gal 5:1. Paul also warns us when he says, “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed” James 1:15. People enter into relationships to fulfill the lust of the flesh and not for love. Many lives are played out like the daytime soap opera and late night sitcoms (situation comedy) where people go from relationship to relationship, marriage to marriage because of lust and never find what they want or are bored with what they have. We can see why the shackle of lust causes people to fall into relationships that are dysfunctional. Many are lead astray by their own lust.
Lust will lead you into the den of Sodom and Gomorrah. Thus bringing with it shame, embarrassment, dishonor, disgrace and disloyalty. Sadly people lose their integrity, trust and respect in one night and work a lifetime trying to repair and restore it. People will be forever defined not necessarily for their good, but by the mistakes they make. Don’t allow lusts random urges and impulses to cause you lose your self-control and have your name added to the wall of shame or be a part of a late night monologue on the David Letterman, Jay Leno or Jon Stewart show. Make decisions in your life something you want to remember and not something you want to forget. Don’t allow lust to operate in your life causing you to sin.
People fall into sin because of lust and say things like;
• I am only human
• I am weak or I had a moment of weakness
• I don’t know what came over me
• I lost control
• The devil made me do it
• I was lonely
Sometimes we have to literally runaway from the spirit of lust like Joseph who resisted and rebuked Potifars wife and said no to temptation and lust. And I mean run. Don’t let lust be the smoking gun that steals, kills and destroys your life.
Let me be very candid about lust. Lust is a very strong emotion for the craving and desires to satisfy the flesh. My own experience suggests that it is hard to resist once you set yourself on the slippery slope. It is a place where I once was and where many find themselves today. Our carnal flesh and mind has cravings and urges that want to be fulfilled. Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden who were so enthralled by eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge that resistance became futile. The enemy uses lust to draw you away from God and to steer you towards sin and carnality. He dangles lust like a carrot, right in front of you. Lust is a temptation that without the help of God to overcome, sexual sin can indeed be challenging.
God created man and woman in a divine way. He created you and me to be sexual beings with all the joys and pleasures it has to offer. We have a hormone called epinephrine that secretes into the bloodstream when we become emotionally and sexually excited. It constricts blood vessels thus increasing blood pressure and accelerates the heart rate and forces the contractions of the heart. Men release the hormone testosterone and women release estrogen. These hormones regulate sexual behavior. Our sex hormones cause virtual cessation of the corresponding stimuli. This is what happens when you look at someone with lust. The visual sensations from lust secrets hormones into the bloodstream causing arousal! Arousal from lust if not controlled can lead you into sin. That is why Paul said, “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death”, James 1:15,16. We must be careful to not look upon another person with lust. Jesus said, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after he hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” Matt 5:2.
“Of all the worldly passions, lust is the most intense. "All other worldly passions seem to follow in its train.”
- Buddha Gotama
